Jobs Mario Needs

Yes boys and girls, it's true. Nintendo has recently announced that Mario is no longer a plumber. Since 1981 Mario's debut in Donkey Kong it's been unknown what was his occupation and how the hell could he afford a gorilla named Donkey Kong. It wasn't until the game Mario Bros that Mario and his brother Luigi were officially deemed as plumbers, a matter of fact the game is them dealing with creatures that got flushed down pipes. Over the years as Mario went on to save Princess Peach, he kinda taken his plumbing job in the back burner with it being referenced in a couple video games. Now that it seems that Mario has officially hung up his... plunger? What will he do now to earn coins for a living?

Game Show Host

Mario sure knows how to throw a party. With doing all the zany mini games in the Mario Party series that he and other Mario characters do, why don't he become a game show host? The mini games almost have a American Ninja Warrior or Double Dare feeling to it, why not ad trivial questions to it and have it become a full fledged show? His friends be chased by boulders, boos, and wack each other with hammers for coins. Why not for other fabulous prizes? Maybe a BRAND NEW CAR!

Racer

Mario Kart is easily hands down the most successful Mario spin-offs. Its popularity was huge enough for it to be treated as a it's own thing in Super smash Bros with  not only stages dedicated to the games but items as well. It's time for Mario to take off on the sudden high wave of popularity and shift gears and become a race car driver.

Bodyguard

Let's face it. The Toad guards are not doing their job right. Even getting kidnapped themselves. Peach needs to up her security.

Actor

I know we all remember the Super Mario Bros movie and how horrible it was (We can never forget tragedies. They haunt us forever.) Horrible cinematography? Could be. Bad script? Maybe. Bad acting? Dennis Hopper wasn't a great Koopa in it so probably, but it was definitely missing something: Mario! Maybe if Mario himself could've saved the film from being one of the worst video game movies ever. The first movie he was in didn't suck... that much.

Doctor

So Mario has been a doctor for a while in the Dr. Mario games. No longer being a plumber could mean him finally putting on the white jacket permanently. The Mushroom Kingdom needs a prescription that only Dr. Mario can fill out! Wait, Mario is an actual doctor, right? If not at least he can play one like a certain one on TV.

Fuck It! Enjoy Retirement

Fuck it. Life's too good to be fixing leaky pipes and toilets. You can just live the retired life. You've accumulated a ton of money from busting blocks and traveling to countless worlds saving Princess Peach over the past thirty plus years. Plus I'm sure Ninendo and Miyamoto-san can cut you a check or at least give you a piece of the Mario game sales, right? RIGHT? No? Oh. I wonder if lawyers take gold coins.

Will People Switch Over to the Nintendo Switch?

     After a long period of guessing, speculation, and really ridiculous rumors we have finally caught a glimpse of the NX, oops I mean the new Nintendo Switch. It didn't disappoint. The rumors of it being a hybrid of a console and handheld were true. You can disattach and take it with you anywhere from cars, flights, and even take it with you to play with you and your friends after playing a real game of basketball and reattach it to the modem at home. The controller looks pretty awesome as well as you can connect it like a old school controller or take it apart and use it like a Wiimote. You can even connect it to the Switch Pad and play games just like the Wii U screen. Yes things look really cool but will all of this'll ad to the Switch flying off the shelves? Will it get people to put down their PS4 and Xbox One controllers and Switch over to the Switch?
     It does look like a big step up from the Wii U which is already a good thing. It is apparent that the Wii U's launch and run was more of a fizzle than a big explosion. At first it wasn't anything that was setting it apart from the Wii other that a game pad. But the it would take more than technology to get people to buy the Switch. It needs games.
     One of the big problems Nintendo had with the Wii U, was its library of games during its launch. It didn't have enough solid game titles to get consumers to buy. Third party games were even worse as we barely had those during launch. They were in a drought for a couple of years until they had to revamp their marketing strategy.
    Fortunately for Nintendo, they are well aware of this issue they had with game title, especially third party ones and are making a system that encourages third party companies to want to work with the Switch and third party developers do want to work with the system. People are also excited based on only a snippet of what the Switch has to offer. Again, the technology look great but it doesn't matter if you don't have games that people want to play, especially at the launch period. It's great Nintendo is well aware of this and have a strategy to make sure we have some good games to play right from the start. It does have potential for it to be huge. It will be a waste if Nintendo squanders its chances by not backing it up with the right amount of effort to make sure it does well. It is expected to sell 2 million at launch if the demand is well deserved. We'll see if whether people are going to switch over to the Switch.

What do you think?
   

Will Mario Kart 8 Be The Wii U's Savior? Probably Not

     Ladies and gentlemen, Mario Kart 8 is here! After months and months of waiting, wishing, hoping and praying, it is finally here. Saying this game was highly anticipated is an understatement. Nintendo has been dropping gameplay and new stuff that has been having us begging and begging for this game to be released and in our hands. Anti-gravity, Koopalings, new updates of retro tracks, the new Mario Kart TV feature that let's you edit, mix, remix, and share your races with your friends, and let's not forget a new horn item that get's rid of the dreaded Blue Shell, what more could you want? Nintendo has been responsive to the fan feedback, making sure that the game delivers and gives everything a person could want from having an Mario Kart 8 app on your iPhone to you being able to race across the Mushroom Kingdom in a Mercedes Benz as DLC to ensure that it be a hit and get consoles to sell like hot cakes, but the question is will it?
     Mario Kart 8 will do good, but it might not do well enough to help Nintendo raise to its former glory. One of the main problems that has plagued the Wii U since its launch was its lack of games that would guarantee people to buy the system. They have had the horrible idea to let its consumers wait in-between months to have something worth playing for it. The games that were considered to be its console grabbers haven't done what they were suppose to do. It's top 3 highest selling games for the Wii U: New Super Mario Bros U (4.16 million), NintendoLand (3.09 million), and the most hyped of the bunch Super Mario 3D (2.17) while good, but fails in comparison to other titles. And without any good games to play along with it, sales are effected. It's no secret that the Wii U is doing poorly, even before the release of the other consoles of this generation, the PS4 and XBox One. The sales for the Wii U have been approximately over 70k for the month of March which is short compared to its console rivals XBox One (311,000) and the PS4. The Wii U did however did better this year than last with its sales in February with an 25% increase, but they're not out of the clear yet. The combined sales of Wii U so far has been 6.17 million which is not only dwarfed by the success of PS4 and XBox One, but its predecessor the Wii.
       Again, I'm not saying that Mario Kart 8 will be a total dud in sales. The reviews from both critics and gamers have been well received. A game this anticipated will do nicely, but at this moment, Nintendo has no need for anything to do nicely. They need an absolute hit. In order for Nintendo to catch up, they need in order to catch up with Microsoft and Sony they need a sure game that will have its system flying off the shelves. Hopefully Super Smash Bros. will be it.